do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
