I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
