I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
