no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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