Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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