just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
