I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
