i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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