I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
True college students do jello shots in the library
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
