please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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