Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
