Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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