saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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