no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
