Fuck appropriateness.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
