Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
