Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
