we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
