also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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