I want to make a zoo with you.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
