He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
