we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
