Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sorry about my life...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
