U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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