In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
