Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
