i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
