i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
