she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
