omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
