I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
