I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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