the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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