Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
