Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
