none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
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just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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