No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
