okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
