I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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