In the future we'll all be gay
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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