Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
