Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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