Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
