my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
