one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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