Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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