The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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