dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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