C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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