Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
