ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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