The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
