Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
