The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I am one with the molecules
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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