At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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