The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
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He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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