Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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